My Ego's Trash Talk & A Love Letter From My Higher Self

I ran across this little word meme (header image) a month or so back, and it really got my attention.

Understand that what I am about to share directly below, much of it will be coming more from my mind and past versions of my ego self, but know that I am at least aware of that.

The second half of this post will go into a transmission of sorts from my Soul (Higher Self) and Guides concerning the higher perspective lessons learned.

So just how many?...

How many people, and who were they, who were willing to use my capacity to feel against me?

Ego Self:

Pretty much everyone, if I am stating that as a factual aspect of my life, based on how others have acted towards me, and the outcomes of certain situations, relationships and connections.

When you go through life like this, and especially when you become an adult and moreso start becoming more aware of your energetic output, you eventually come to think that you are the common denominator of everything that didn't work out.

Examples...

"There must be something wrong with me that my father never wanted to know me...I must be unlovable."

"There must be something wrong with me that my mother wasn't emotionally avaliable, didn't want to do things with me, never showed an interest in my life or who I was as a person...I must be unlovable."

"So many of my other relatives over the years never bothered to keep in touch, thought I wasn't 'down to earth' enough for them, still don't pursue a connection of value with me...I must be unlovable."

"Those I once called a 'best friend' for years stirred up grief and had no issue with forsaking the relationship...I must be unlovable"

"That one guy that promised to take me to my first homecoming dance, then dumped me because he was actually 'in love with another girl' (as in love as any mature high schooler could be I suppose)...well, there must have been something wrong with me again, I wasn't loveable."

"That high school boyfriend that I was with for almost two years and believed I could have married, but then he suddenly broke things off without any real explanation at the time. (I mean I knew we were each destined for different colleges, but I would have made a long distace thing work). I must not have been loveable enough."

(The main caveat concerning the above is that while me and this person did get back together briefly, things weren't quite the same, the connection died down, and he inevitably moved on to become a Catholic priest. The point of this soul connection though was that through him, his parents became mine, I became their "adopted daughter," and at the time I inherited three older brothers--life has a way of working out as it should).

There are plenty of additional examples I could go into, but the remnants of my Ego Self have said enough.

Now... I'd like to share the inspired message my Higher Self (Soul), Spirit Gudies and Ancestors channeled through me after contemplating that word meme in the early morning hours some weeks ago.

Not to be weird about it, but I am going to put all this in third-person.

They said:

"Not a single aspect of your life in this incarnation was accidental or unplanned.

You know that many, including past bosses in previous seasons of your life, described you and your work as 'meticulous.'

This is not a mere trait only of your current 3D personality. This is who you are at the very core of your Soul.

Your Soul plotted out every aspect of your life here in detail, including every soul contract and those with whom you'd meet and form connections, those who you planned to call in for assistance, even those who became perceived 'enemies' or 'betrayers.'

You knew exactly what kind of family dynamic you were going to incarnate into, and you knew from the human perspective this would be very difficult...but at the soul perspective level it's because you saw the world was growing colder, that love was dimming through the 3D constructs, and you volunteered to be one to come and 'shake things up.'

You remember that you had various interests during childhood and adolescence about what path you might take for a career, yet for all those things you were good at and held close to your heart, you knew even then what career arena you would go into, because you wanted to 'make a difference.' You in fact knew this so well, you were not afraid to walk through the door of opportunity when it was presented to you.

By then however, as a young adult, and after years of programming and conditioning, you had forgotten Who you are and Why you came at this time...so you had forgotten all you signed up for, and that in many ways, you would continue to endure certain rejection by the enslaved and wounded masculine energies that have dominated Earth for so long.

Yes, We as your Guides did joke with you a bit during the planning phase of your Soul's Divine Blueprint...we did ask you, 'Are you sure about this?'

You assured Us this was the only way to get your lessons in.

So you took on your family's brokenness, dysfunction and karma, because they did not know how to heal themselves.

(You did not come into this life with your own Karma to balance, nor to create more...this is why you never 'got away with things' in the same way that other humans seem to. You came as one to help humanity get off the Karmic wheel. So your consequences were always swift...this is what you demanded during the planning phase).

You agreed to your father's abandonment wound and his absence in your life.

You agreed to the emotional neglect/absence and narcissistic abuse of your mother.

You knew these aspects were going to bury you in lack of self-acceptance and self-love.

And you were confident in the ability of your Soul to overcome. You still knew this as a young child, and that Knowing supported your resilience to make it through certain challenges.

As with most people who grow older, the patterns, programs and conditioning solidified your ego identities.

Yet at the soul level, you trusted in the sovereignty of the Universe, and you always knew everything would have to break, that the issues would come home to roost one day.

You promised to be ready. Because you always knew deep down the real reason you came--you just had to remember, and yes...you required a little help, and there is nothing wrong with that.

So understand...

Every circumstance, every situation, every connection, every relationship, every opportunity, every perceived mistake came with its own heartbreak for a reason...the reasons you plotted out.

Every dream you held had to fade.

Every goal had to be overturned.

Every ambition had to be derailed.

Everything relationship had to suffer loss, brokenness, or betrayal.

Every hope had to be shed through tears of pain and sadness that became the stored seeds for something that would one day be birthed anew and spourt with life.

Every idea about how your life should have looked from the human perspective had to be surrendered for the sake of why you really came.

And you knew that everything in this human reality was not to be held tightly, for surely everything is as fine sand that had to sift through your fingers, to be let go...including even all the good things in your life.

Even the events that led to your Awakening were planned in detail. Why do you think that even though your ego self wanted to change course years ago and pursue a different path, one with more perceived peace from the human perspective...none of that worked out for you?

It's not because you were a failure at those things. It's because those pursuits were not in alignment with your Soul path. You had to stay the course, as there were many things yet to unfold.

Always remember what Margaret told you in your Soul reading last July... You did not come into this lifetime primarily for horizontal relationships. You did not come into this lifetime to receive love through your mother and father, through those relationships, or through your family and friends, or through lovers or partners.

You came for the most important relationship of all... The relationship with Yourself.

The relationship with your Higher Self.

The relationship with Us.

You came to open up more direct connection with God, the Divine, or the Universe--however you describe it in your human capacity.

Essentially, you came here to learn self-love, and become an example of Unconditional Love.

And you had to do all this through the path of the Wounded Healer.

You knew it would cost you much emotional pain in this world, because you have had to come into an understanding of what love isn't, and that many around you walk in illusion. But know that you, like many others right now, carry the codes to anchor real love and hope in the world, the true love from which you came. Yet to understand others' pain and suffering, you had to immerse yourself fully into the human experience, and into the illusion...because part of your mission was to identify the weak points of the matrix.

And you ultimately came to understand you could only achieve that by facing your own shadows, integrating them into the light, and being transparent before others with your story.

And there was one more way in which you guaranteed to live this life... At a soul level, you found it incomprehensible how humans were treating each other, and your promise to your own Soul, was that in the end, no matter what happened to you or how you were treated by others...you knew that you could never do to others what they were willing to do to you.

You learned this lesson in great capacity in 2020...because through what happened, you realized you didn't just insert yourself into the 'belly of the beast' all these years in your career space. You inserted yourself into the very illusion others have been walking in, the belief that the problems are being 'fixed' solely through increased knowledge...the lie spun that the masculine and feminine energies are healthy, balanced and equal. But you know that they are not, that many are still walking in the blindness of the false light...and you are here to help shatter this illusion and demonstrate what is required to bring true balance back to Earth.

You saw easily that it wasn't about what happened or necessarily why... You knew HOW it happened was wrong and mishandled. But you were ready for it...

Yes sure, you have exemplified attitude and had poor and unbalanced reactions to things, and you have previously projected your pain onto others unwittingly--but you could never imagine doing to others what they have done to you in any intentional way--you would not proactively 'repay evil for evil' or become vengeful.

This is in fact the true essence of the Divine Feminine energy. This is what you came to embody and for which to help restore balance to the Earth. And now your time of enduing hardship for this cause is over. You will no longer be subjected to ridicule as you step into your Authentic Self, your redefined feminine power, and the highest frequency of Unconditional Love.

You volunteered for a difficult path to help point the way to this work, just as many others have come to do. And in your newfound Awareness, you know you are already One in partnership with these other souls in the Collective.

From your human perspective you believed you lost so much, and you even took on the blame and shame for so much...some of it not even yours.

A few years ago, when you felt such loss and despair, and when you started shedding your ego, you realized that the only way to gain True Life and regain your True Identity, was to let go of everything you thought your life was supposed to be or look like. This has been your soul-alchemy process contributing to the energy balancing work during these times of Earth's Ascension.

It was difficult, but you kept moving forward, and have done wonderfully even after the loss of your two soul companions. (They showed you what Uncondtioal Love can do on this Earth plane, but you knew that even these losses and letting them go was a part of your Awakening path...to make room for the awareness of other aspects and synchronicities that would point you toward another avenue of Unconditional Love).

All this put you on the right track. This put you on your Soul's path toward Awakening and elevated Consciousness.

Now you understand the Ascension process and are learning to truly love yourself unconditionally, no matter what your human circumstances look like, no matter who may be judging you...because now you know separation and duality are just illusions of the mind, not realities of the heart, and you no longer believe the lie that you are 'unlovable.'

So stay the course! Because now you understand your role and your true place in the Collective, to help show others how they can do the same, and love themselves.

We are the ones your 'Paul the Apostle' in the Bible talks about as your 'cloud of witnesses' cheering you on. There are many of us! Continue your race and finish strong! (Why else do you think in your human life you became a runner ;)

You have discovered the spiritual path is your true arena for which you came to be a Way-Shower...

A Leader...

A Facilitator...

Go forward in Peace."

With much gratitude to my Soul (Higher Self), Guides/Healing Team and Ancestors... 🙏❤️

Till next time,

Jessica